Meeting Your Ex Again

Do you remember the happy times you had with her? Of course, that was before everything went South. Before you guys started disagreeing on everything, before you guys started to not see eye-to-eye. Before you guys broke up.

You unfollow her from every social media that you actively use and deleted all her messages from your phone. You threw out everything she gifted you, and got rid of all her pictures. But you didn’t do it out of spite. You just wanted to protect yourself. But from what? From the nights that are too long. The nights that remind you of what you used to have and how much you wish you could turn back time. The sudden flood of memories that reopen your scars. The pain.

A year has passed since you walked out of each other’s lives. The year was filled with good days and bad. When the days were good, you spent time with your friends laughing till you tear up, you visited a cafe you had always wanted to visit, and even saw The Weeknd live in concert. But when the days were bad, you were on your knees. You were in so much pain that you thought she was the only one who could make you feel better. All you could do was scream in agony.

Things started to get better with time. You get a little bit older and wiser, you get busier, and you don’t think of her anymore. And later on, you receive a text from a very familiar number on your birthday.

Happy birthday!!

You know of only one person that uses two punctuation marks. You know of only one person who is blunt and doesn’t bother adding in fake birthday wishes like “Hope you get everything you wish for.” or “Have an awesome birthday!”. You look at the sender’s number properly this time, and you’re sure.

Thanks. :) hope to see you sometime

Did you thank her for wishing you or even remembering your birthday? What did you really thanked her for? You thanked her for screwing up your day. You thanked her for making your insides churn. You thanked her for giving you hope that she still cares.

Birthday meal??

You said yes. You fool. You were in denial, telling yourself that she’s just a friend, that you were over her.

That night, you were late due to traffic. As you hurry your way to the restaurant, you see her from a distance. There she was, sitting in the restaurant. The sunset beaming its rays through the glass made her glow. You felt it. After a year, you felt butterflies.

You took a deep breath, went in and apologized for being late. You talked and ate and laughed. But no, things did not feel the same. This time you felt different. She had gotten over you. You smiled and conversed, but you were dying on the inside. You couldn’t wait to leave, to release the pain. But you also didn’t want it to end. You didn’t want her to leave again.

That night, you went home, drained. It was as if a vampire had sucked out your soul. Once again, you’re on your knees. And now you just wonder how she got over you completely, and why after all this time you couldn’t do the same.

This is what you get for meeting your ex again.